I love your big puffy hair! It reminds me of when you speak; all volume with no substance. The only reasons you were elected leader of the federal Liberal party was due to your father’s reputation as Prime Minister and the Liberal’s desperate attempt at returning to power. You get by in life based on your looks, and name. Get a haircut and go back to teaching Drama.
You write every week and make no effort to disguise your return address: c/o Ben Mulroney. Why must we fight? Both our fathers were Prime Ministers. When my father retired from office the Liberals lost the next election. When your father retired from office…did he take the entire Conservative party with him? I kid.
As you know, being a Canadian sex icon is incredibly difficult. I’m jealous of your sculpted jaw, bright smile and remarkably clear skin. What kind of skin care products do you use? Have you tried Meaningful Beauty by Cindy Crawford? Divine! Let’s do lunch and talk about our hair, my treat. I know a great restaurant down by the Meech, I mean beach. But I lost my wallet, is it okay if I bring an envelope stuffed with $300,000 in cash?