Making Love on the TTC (Toronto Public Transit)

Come make love

On the TTC

But avoid

The blue seats

 

Save those for

The children

The seniors and

Mothers-to-be

 

Who’s breathing

on my neck

Who’s pulling

down my pants

 

Why, it’s my lover

Encouraging me

To have a quickie

On the TTC

 

Our final destination

Without hesitation

The end of the line

Multiple times

 

Dear TTC driver

Please, don’t stop

Don’t, oh God

Don’t stooooooooooooooop

 

Good evening, officer

Am I getting arrested

For having sex in public

I swear, I’ve been tested

 

Can’t you see

No HIV, no STD’s

Now let me go

I demand to be free

 

Good morning, your Honour

Love your black robe

Makes you look smart

No need to probe

 

Your Honour, I’m not guilty

To indecent exposure

To public nuisance

Two legs on my shoulder

 

The verdict is in

The judge has ruled

Castration by Bobbit

Not cool, dude, not cool

 

Come make love

On the TTC

But avoid

The blue seats

 

Save those for

Mothers

Seniors and

Men like me